Saturday, June 30, 2012

...

'Tis the last day of June/the first day of July. My body has been spoiled with 9 hours of sleep every night and suffers when I receive any less than such an amount. Today was no exception, most especially with work training today. Eight and a half long hours of airbrush flower tattoos (no, they are not real tattoos, miss), sweaty backs (curse you, oh black cement), irritated mothers ("Where's the beer at?!?") , and rubber dummies (all hail Bonquiqui). 

Tired. Even the scrumptious goodness of a dinner I had of fried tilapia and chopped celery and zucchini, accompanied with steaming brown rice topped with roasted seaweed strips and a hint of soy sauce did not seem to wake me up a bit. 

A puddle of reflection is what I have been slowly sinking myself in (please tell me I am not the only one who has a 5 second mental video clip of Disney's Mulan in my head, most especially the bit where Makeup Mulan glances at her reflection in the river...I think). It has come to my attention that I have been draining myself out, wringing the very ends of who I am until there was no more left of me to pour. This past year was a challenge, a test, and to be perfectly honest, I doubt that I have passed with flying, vibrant colors. 

I am grateful that this summer is a resting period for me, but I have come to the point where rest...well, sort of, equals occasional laziness. As much as I love to keep my inner motor running, I realize I need to devote the time I have it going to aspects of who I am that I do not get to touch upon during the school year. 

This is a rejuvenating time for me. 

It is a time for me to be a student yet again but not in the typical academic sense. It is a time for me to be creative again but not in the typical oh-let-me-just-mimic-all-these-DIY's-I-discovered-online-and-take-the-full-credit-for-it.

I want to go from being intrigued to being informed, to go from curious from its enticement to being captured by its beauty. 

Because beauty is the real essence of creativity and well, sometimes I feel like there are hundreds and thousands of hidden dimensions and angles of beauty that I have not encountered just yet.